December always makes me kind of obsessive about death. I know that seems like an odd correlation, but there you have it. I've had a grandfather who died in December and then two years ago I lost my eighteen year old cousin to a stupid car accident. He never met his daughter, his mother was devastated. It really made me understand that no one is safe. Anyone can die at any moment. For a while I was really negatively affected by that realization. As a former cancer patient my mortality is something I am aware of. So, when you add that other realization to it and a dash of my own anxiety you get one girl who is a mess when she thought about death.
I've dealt with that some since then. Still, it is fresh in my mind as we come up on the anniversary. Last night I decided to search the archives over at Against the Stream, here , and actually find a talk about death. I tend to favor Noah Levine for my Dharma talks. I've been branching out some, but last night I went back to good old Noah.
In the beginning of the talk he mention Ajahn Cha and his cup. You remember my blog about that being already broken? That story. Instead of that lesson though he went on to suggest we should look at people as being already dead. Same principal, but use it to help with grief. How would that change your life? Would it make you stop trying if you saw everyone as impermanent as they really are? Would you just start being a huge bitch to everyone? Or, more likely, would you learn that everyone is precious. That everyone is gone and you never know when that will happen so maybe you shouldn't hang on to the anger you have about them stealing that pair of socks you really loved.
I'm not sure how I feel about it. I get it, in theory. If you see everyone like you would see the cup it should be easier to let them go. Death, though, is such a huge thing for so many people, I'm not sure if that would help or make people jerks.
What are your thoughts?
Here is the actual talk .
P.S. I think I like Vinny's Dharma talk style to. I'll let you knew next time!
Angry Girl Contemplative
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