This is Only a Test

This is a test. This is only a test. If this was an actual emergency I would be in the corner flipping the fuck out.

Oh, wait.


A few weeks ago my husband came out to me about the fact that he had been lying to me about taking his medicine for five months. Despite the fact that he has already lost four toes he still hadn't been taking his insulin or anything else. At first, I screamed. I ranted. I wanted to throw things, but I didn't. Then I was actually able to take a step back and say wait, you know I need to think this through before I say anything else. And that's exactly what I did.

My emotions, for once, did not own me. This is exciting news for me. Of course, the next day he told me he had a bone infection and would have to be off work again. Now, if you remember, this is what made me an Angry Girl to begin with. This time, though, is different because I am different. Through my practice I have been able to step back, most of the time, and not just completely blow up all the time. Let me tell you, that is a small miracle considering some of the anxiety issues I have. I do not like anything to be out of my control or, at least, I didn't.

The last month, though it has been full of hurdles, betrayal, and stress, I've been fine. I've slipped up. I've gotten irritable, but never for long. I am beyond grateful that I have my practice to help me through this. I can honestly say I am a changed person because of Buddhism.

I know this has been a short update, but some of this is still really to raw to type out. I thought you guys would appreciate, though, practice in action, which is exactly what is going on in my life right now. Thank you all for sticking with my blog. I am so honored to help anyone in any way through this modest blog of mine.

Angry Girl, Practicing.

Why I Have Been Wearing a Watch that Doesn't Work

At the beginning of the month we found a new home and began moving. It was in our kids' school district, an old farm house, and it had no mold. Unfortunately I have had basically no control over the move and that is not something I do well, give up control.

I found a watch that I've had since high school, but the battery is dead. I slipped it on with the intention of just getting it to the new house. Every time I checked to see what time it was I realized it actually served as an important reminder. Control is an illusion and you have to live in the moment and let go. Since then I have continued wearing the watch.

We get so consumed in what we're doing and what we need to get done that we forget to enjoy what's going on at that exact moment. The watch was a great reminder for me to step back and look around me. If you have a hard time remembering to live in the moment, like I do sometimes, I really suggest wearing a watch that doesn't work for a day or two. Clearly you'd have to pick a day where you don't have an important appointment or something, but it gives you a very refreshing reminder about where your attention SHOULD be.

Now that we are finally getting settled in our new home I will be able to blog more often. I've had a lot of trips and stumbles on the path in the last couple of months that I'm really dying to share with you guys.

Nice to be back!
Angry Girl