First, I want to say that I am thinking of everyone effected by the hurricane. It is a crazy disaster that no one ever expects. If you're out there, help everyone. Take care of each other.
Now, onto the blog. Last night I went bowling with Hope, my other best friend. Yes, I have two. I'm super awesome that way. Obviously, bowling isn't about Buddhism, it's about knocking down pins. It's about being competitive and talking shit while you bowl like crap. Well, if you bowl like me anyway.
Anyway, you wouldn't think it's about Buddhism, but you'd be wrong. I was listening to a Dharma talk about being mindful and what that means the other day. While I was bowling gutter balls, it came to mind somewhere between saying, "fuck," and laughing my ass off. Maybe, I thought, my problem is that I'm not really being mindful of the moment. Maybe my issue was I was too busy trying to come up with a comeback after I threw the gutter ball to avoid the gutter ball.
So, I try it. I pick up my purple ball, which had already bruised my thumb but butch was purple I wasn't using another ball, and I marched towards that line, I did my ridiculous little hop and I THOUGHT about where I wanted the ball to go. I was aware I was releasing the ball and that it was going to knock the shit out of those pins. I got a strike. Hope was like, "uhh I'm supposed to be kicking your ass," and I was like, "Buddhism bitches, being mindful gets strikes."
Now, you say, "Amanda, fucking duh. You are supposed to take your time when you bowl or that shit goes all kinds of wrong," and that would be true. That being said, I'm not a patient person. I and definitely someone who lives about two steps ahead of what I am actually doing. In fact, I am thinking about how many hits this blog will get and I haven't even posted it. It's just a fact of who I am. Buddhism is all about the opposite of that; being mindful.
Take that a few steps farther and it is a great way not to get caught up in past or future. I don't know about you , but when I do manage to live in the moment I am a hell of a lot happier. And isn't that what life is all about, living through the great moments? Being a photographer I am always capturing people's moments, but I was missing out on so many of my own being preoccupied with what test on what bone would turn out to be what or what bill we could pay what week and what we could live without for a few days. I think, maybe, had I known then some of the things I know now I would have been able to step back and remind myself that worrying about the future wasn't going to change it and having a huge blowout fight over something that may come to pass is just such a waste of time and I might have been able to enjoy my life more. Sure, we were poor and shit was tough, but my kids were healthy and happy. Shouldn't that have been my focus? Who knows.
Now, I guess the lesson I am putting out here is, always be mindful of what you are doing. It seems so fucking simple; think before you do shit. Yet, a lot of us don't do that. Instead of complaining about the end of summer, be aware of the beauty of the fall because if you get so wrapped up in what you will do next summer how will you ever find the time to jump in a pile of leaves?
Hopefully someone out there finds this blog helpful. I'm just learning, so by no means am I a teacher. don't we learn better as a group, though? We are pretty social animals.
Angry Girl, signing off.
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