Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Slowin It Down

What's up, people?

What's that? It's been a while?

Yes, yes it has.

A few days after my last post my Dad lost his fight with cancer. There was a funeralish pot luck thing, it was really weird. Being the daughter of an alcoholic is what the relationship status "it's complicated" was made for. It was a room full of people who all knew my Dad better than me. It was completely overwhelming. I spent a lot of time outside trying to figure it out and then my husband and I made the two and a half hour drive home with a red solo cup of my Dad in a cup holder. Yea, it was kind of like one of those indie movies.

In the months that followed I meditated, a lot. I reached out to my friends online and was lucky enough to have a friend who knew exactly how I felt. A lot of the right words were said just when I needed to hear them. I'm still confused about all of it, but I'm rolling with it and learning a lot. There really needs to be an honest support group out there for people with some kind of what to expect book.

When was the last time you slowed down and just enjoyed the sun or listened to birds? How can we hope to enjoy life when we rush from one crisis to the next? even when life is getting us down we should always take the time to live in the present and just love shit everywhere. There's some beautiful stuff we're missing out on getting wrapped up in crazy.

In the meantime foot infections and lymph-node infections were had by the husband. His sugar is finally coming under control and that's an amazing thing. Now if we could just get him to stop regrowing bone. You gotta laugh.

I haven't stopped talking about Buddhism or learning. I tell everyone who will listen how I came into this, what books I've read, and I've probably shared the Against the Stream website about a hundred times. I always have to lead with, "This is going to sound really weird, but," which makes me smile.

I went back to school this fall. I may actually get to graduate this spring. Oh I know, who the hell would give me a diploma? I never said they weren't crazy for doing it. I hope to find time to bring my brand of snark and patience back to you all.

In the meantime feel free to peruse the records and share the joint around.

I know you missed me,
Angry Girl